you've tamed the beast

I've never been the type to settle down. That white picket fence with the two point five bratty little angels just doesn't seem that appealing to me. I don't want to take an art or knitting class, because, that would imply i was bored of being a stay at home mom. Which is something i never intended to be. I wanted adventures and battles and drama and chaos and absolutely anything that would keep back the monogamy of everyday life. And i still want that, with you. I want to be wild and free with you by my side. But sweetheart... If stability is what you crave, and structure is what holds you together, and if routine is what keeps you going every day... Then i will gladly clean the house, cook your meals, and write you a letter every single day. I will shine your shoes and ask about your day at work. I will have as many kids as you want and i will still find time every single day to dedicate just for you. I will do whatever it takes to make you happy. Because thats all i really want now. To be happy with you. To be with you forever. 

Slipping Back Into Who I Was

I almost forgot what it was like to feel insubordinate. Sure, every now and then there was the occasional humbling moment when I realized my opinions and thoughts weren't valued. But in general, I was confident in my worth. I was worth it. I was special. My ideas mattered.
Today, for a fleeting moment, that changed. Instead of seeing myself as who I truly am.. I was sucked back into the image I created for myself years ago. I relied on my peers to affirm my place in the world, and was utterly crushed when instead they denied it.
I hope this doesn't happen again.
It sucks to be worthless.